Sugar, you're beautiful
by xXSakura-Hime-SamaXx
Summary: Summary: A broken girl meets a lost vampire, both used and abandoned by those they held dear, both unable to put up with the pitying looks from friends and family. Can she bring meaning to his life once more? Or will she fall to her own inner demons before he realizes her significants in his life.


Pairing: Peter/Bella

Rating: M

Summary: A broken girl meets a lost vampire, both used and abandoned by those they held dear, both unable to put up with the pitying looks from friends and family. Can she bring meaning to his life once more? Or will she fall to her own inner demons before he realizes her significants in his life.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any other recognizable places/people.

**AN:** **IMPORTANT!** Now, I'll point it out now, I'm Australian, so I'm not very familiar with American states, towns and the like. I'm trying my best and that's all I can do! I will not stand for flames, if you don't like this fic- then don't read it! It's a simple as that!

_On a lighter note_: this is my first Twilight fan fiction! YAY! Those how know me personally know about my loathing for all things Bella/Edward, and think me anti-twilight. But no, I just hate the way Bella is portrayed and the way Edward acts is in general. This may not be my top priority, but it's up their next to my Naruto fic paradise! So I will update when I can~

_**ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

* * *

_Insert from New Moon- Chapter 4 Waking up, pg 86-87_

"Listen, Honey. I think that-that maybe you need some help."

"Help?"

He paused, searching for words again. "When your mother left," he began frowning, "and took you with her." he inhaled deeply. "Well, that was a really bad time for me."

"I know dad" I mumbled.

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "Honey, you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better." He stared at me and I looked down quickly. "I think we both know it's not getting any better."

"I'm fine"

He ignored me. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional."

"You want me to see a shrink?" my voice was a shade sharper as I realised what he was getting at.

"Maybe it would help"

"And maybe it wouldn't help one bit." He examined my obstinate expression, and switched to another line of attack.

"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother-"

"Look," I said in a flat voice. "I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call jess or Angela."

"That's not what I want; I don't think I could live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone trying so hard" he argued, "It hurts to watch"

"I don't understand, dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out."

"I want you to be happy- no, not even that much. I just want you to not be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of forks." My eyes flashed up with the first small spark of feeling I'd had in too long to contemplate.

"I'm not leaving." I said.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"I'm in my last semester of school- it would screw everything up."

"You're a good student- you'll figure it out."

"I don't want to crowd mom and Phil."

"Your mother's been dying to have you back."

"Florida is too hot."

His fist came down on the table again. "We both know Whats really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you." He took a deep breath. "It's been months. No calls. No letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him."

I glowered at him. The heat almost, but not quite, reached my face. It had been a long time since I'd blushed with any emotion. This whole subject was utterly forbidden, as he was well aware.

"I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything." I said in a low monotone.

"Bella-"Charlie began his voice thick.

"I have to get to school." I interrupted, standing up and yanking my untouched breakfast from the table and dumping it in the sink before heading for the door.

_-End insert from new moon-_

"No, you don't Bella." Charlie said from the table as I reached the front door, only to find it locked and the keys missing. Turning to face him with a look of confusion I couldn't help but feel my throat close up slightly.

'_This couldn't be good.' _

"What?" I asked, my voice still keeping its monotone quality as Charlie rose from his seat and walked around the table and picked up the phone.

"I've already had you withdrawn; your mother is on her way over, she should be here before dinner." He admitted as my face fell and I felt tears gather in my eyes, threatening to spill at any moment but did my best to keep them in place.

I had a lot of practice lately.

"It's for the best Bella, you're just not coping. Your mother and I love you so much," he admitted, going slightly red. "We just want what's best for you, and if that means you end up hating me, then I'm fine with it-as long as you're safe and healthy." I could feel my chest tighten and my mind cloud over as I robotically moved over to the couch and sat, not bothering to answer him as he sighed and made a call.

'_I don't want to leave though, there's nothing for me in Jacksonville._

_...there's nothing here either. Why won't you help me Edward? I don't want to leave, I like it here.'_

I could feel myself wincing at the thought of. ..his name. who would have thought that a simple word could cause me so much pain.

"Yeah Renée, it's me again. What time's your flight?-"

* * *

"Bella, Sweetie? Do you need any help packing?" mom asked as she knelt next to me and rubbed my knee. I refused to respond as the dull pain in my chest worsened and flared in pain filled waves, the horrible hole in my chest tearing open a little more as I wound my arms around myself and tried to not to voice my inner turmoil.

'_Alice...please don't let them take me away!...Alice? Please?'_

"Bella?" she questioned again before turning to Charlie when I didn't show any inclination to answer her, it wasn't that I didn't want her here- I loved my mother dearly- I just didn't want to leave. I kept my gaze zeroed in on the blank TV screen and tried my hardest to ignore my now bickering parents.

"This is what I was talking about Renée! It's been like this for months, I can't take it anymore! She needs help." Charlie exclaimed as they made their way up the stairs, no doubt going to pack my things.

"I just don't understand Charlie, I was never like this after a breakup..." mom said as her voice trailed off and out of my hearing range. Finally on my own and without the pitying gazes of my parents, I let a single tear trail down my slightly sunken and chalky white cheek before clamping down on my emotions and shoving them to a far corner of my mind.

'_Emmett, Big brother? You wouldn't let them take me away, would you?'_

I know this wasn't normal, the metaphorical hole in my chest wasn't meant to be there. I wasn't meant to feel dead inside at the slightest mention of..._him..._, but I did, and the hole was there. No one else could see it, but I could feel it every minute of every day, drawing me closer with every passing second as it desperately tried to drag me into its murky depths. I had no idea what would happen when I eventually fell in, I _did_ know though, that whatever it was would destroy me when i did.

I could hear the faint noise of my parents packing my belongings upstairs, they were having another argument. About what, I didn't care; I just blocked them out again and returned to my internal pleading.

'_Carlisle, there's something wrong with me... I need your help, please?'_

I knew I wouldn't get a reply, but in some deep recess of my mind I wished they would hear me. I just...missed them? I didn't even know anymore. Was it me longing for my vampiric family that drove me to call out to them in my mind, begging them to help, or some sick form of revenge I had unconsciously concocted; wanting them to see what they had reduced me too for some form of depraved satisfaction.

'_I don't know anymore, I just want them here. I want Esme; she would know what I should do, you would help me, right Esme?'_

I loved them all dearly, even rose, who did nothing but hate me. I loved them with everything I could give, begged and pleaded with them to stay for eternity, only to be cast aside when it became too much of an inconvenience to stick around.

'_Loved? I__ still__ love them all...'_

I wasn't even aware of Charlie returning down stairs and carrying me to bed, or Renée tucking me in and whispering her good nights in my ear while promising to wake me up nice and early. Soon enough I drifted off into a fitful sleep, having no energy to do anything but rest in my current state.

Only one comment made its way into my sleep muddled mind as she closed the door behind her on the way out.

"You'll be fine once we get to Jacksonville sweetie, we'll get you all the help you need. You'll be as good as new in no time, just wait and see." I didn't know who she was trying to convince, me or herself?

* * *

I woke up with a scream clawing its way out of my throat and frantic whispering from outside my room.

"She's not hurt Renée, this happens every night, it'll only get worse if you try to wake her up...see she's already stopped, I think you being here has helped a little already."

'_How sad is it that he knows that?'_

"I hope so, this happens every night? Is that why the bags under her eyes are so dark? Gosh, when I first saw her I thought they were bruises- that she'd gotten into a fight or something."

'_Thanks mom, I feel so much better now... Alice was always the one to do my makeup when I had an off day...'_

"If only, even that would be better than what's going on now. It's all that little pricks fault, the only reason I haven't hunted him down and put a bullet in his-"

'_Oh...wow.'_

"Charlie! Come on, let's make have some coffee, I'll tell you about the hospital I'm checking her into."

"Fine, but I swear if I ever see that Cullen again, he's a dead man." And with those few sentences, the seemingly endless pit in her chest widened, drawing ever closer to the now ragged looking young woman.

'_They're going to have me locked up?... How can I get better if they're just going to take me from my home and lock me up in some padded room? Why take me at all then!'_

* * *

Sleep hadn't graced me with its presence again last night; it seemed that 4 hours was my limit nowadays before I woke myself with my own screams. Moving my gaze from the car in front of us to the looming airport, it looked so ominous in the dull lighting of the early morning sky.

'_Why is it that all my problems revolve around this airport?'_

I had received a teary farewell from Charlie, with promises of phone calls and letters. I know he wasn't one for showing emotion, so it had sent a small jolt of shock down my dulled body to see him whipping away tears as we pulled out of the drive. I hadn't even bothered to try listening to mom as she chirped on about her and Phil's new car, something about letting me get my own when I was better.

'_I didn't want another car, my truck was just fine. Though it would have been better if he had let me keep Emmett's gift, I would have liked to listen to my music during lunch.'_

I was jerked from my thoughts by the sound of Renée closing her door, just now noticing that we had parked and she was waiting for me to join her. Robotically, I stepped from the car and closed my door, my face blank as I shifted my gaze from Renée and my bag to the once again towering form of the Port Angeles airport. The memories it brought up made the hole in my chest twinge, threatening to tear open wider once more.

'_I don't like this place.' _Ran through my mind as I shivered slightly.

Moving closer to Renée as she urged me forward, we began through the entrance and towards the check in. my breath was coming out in almost silent gasps, what we were doing here finally hitting home as I came to an abrupt stop.

"Bella Honey, what's wrong?" The question almost went straight over my head, but I saw a chance at some alone time and grasped it.

"Nothing, I just want to freshen up a bit, since I didn't have time for a shower or anything this morning..." I trailed off, looking in the direction of the bathrooms pointedly. Looking back at my mother as her face lit up; most likely from the fact I was speaking, and nodded her head in understanding. She lowered my bag slightly and smoothed out a nonexistent wrinkle on her yoga pants before gesturing me towards the toilets.

"Go ahead sweetie, I have to drop the key of at the rental place anyway" she said with a slight wrinkle of her nose. She never was one for responsibilities. " I'll meet you back here in ten or so minutes, ok?" with a quick nod, I watched my mother walk away with a bright smile plastered to her face before turning around once she was out of sight and walking straight back out the front doors. With hurried steps I walked through the chilled morning air and down the near empty sidewalk for a good five minutes and the airport was well out of sight. Leaning against a nearby sign and slumping to the ground, one thought racing through my head repeatedly as I gave a small shiver at the cool air and tried to pull my short sleeves down a little lower, wishing I had thought this through a little more- and brought some money? My purse perhaps?

'_I don't want to live the rest of my life in a padded cell.'_

* * *

Renee would defiantly know I was gone by now, unless she was caught up flirting with someone from the rental place. A good 15 minutes had passed and so far I hadn't had even the slightest inclination to return to the airport, it may be cold but it was better than heading to a padded room.

"Dear, are you alright?" came a kind voice from her side, looking up quickly I was startled to see a car with its window rolled down, the middle aged woman dressed in a very summery looking dress top tilted her head to the side and beckoned me up and closer. With a small frown and obliged, she seemed nice enough, and lifted myself from the paved sidewalk and closer to her old truck.

'_Holy hell! I never thought I would see another one of these again!'_

It was pretty much the same as mine, only better kept and a dark blue colour. Pulling my gaze from the truck I looked at the woman more closely, her doing the same to me.

'_Blond hair, red top, tanned, most probably 35-40 years old.'_

She had a kind face, the kind that let you know you could trust them. I watched as she gave a small gasp, eyes raking over my form as concern and determination clouded over her face.

I must look like the poster child/ young woman for abuse

I knew I didn't look well at the moment. As Renée had pointed out last night, I had bags under my eyes, so dark they looked like bruises. My skin was chalky white, from lack of sun and movement. My hair was dull, I hadn't washed it in at least 2 days, and you could thank Renée for that.

'_She always uses all the hot water. Rosalie did too, but only when she knew I was staying the night.'_

Even though the old grey t-shirt I wore looked 3 sizes too big and the yoga pants made me look tiny, you could see I hadn't been eating right. Jessica had thought I was on a new diet for some time, I really didn't feel like pointing out otherwise. And I knew that my eyes looked broken, I saw them every day in the mirror, dull, mud brown, lifeless.

"Do you need a ride?" she asked after finding her voice, looking at me with familiar pity filled eyes.

'_This is it; this is where my next choice changes my life...'_

"How far can you take me?" I replied as she shot me a determined smirk.

"Far enough"

* * *

Far enough was more than I could ever ask for in her case, Mary had driven for around 12 hours before dropping me off in a small town half hour outside of Redding with a hundred dollar bill and her best wishes.

She was a nice woman, we talked about trivial things, and she had never once brought up why I was out there on my own.

I knew I would need the money, since I had been stupid enough to leave without any on my person. I knew I had just done something horrible, leaving my mom at the airport by herself and no clue as to where I was.

'_But I haven't felt this good in months.'_

I felt ... better, like I had just had the smallest amount of weight lifted from my shoulders. Sure there was still plenty there, but she still felt the difference.

'_Bet you never thought I could do that again Jasper, I just slipped past another person at an airport, this is becoming a habit.'_

With a soft sigh she made her way down the street, ignoring the looks she received from locals and found the cheapest motel she could see. Turns out she had just enough for dinner, a room for the night and a cheap jacket.

* * *

He felt lost, with no purpose other than to wander aimlessly for the rest of his eternity.

It didn't used to be like this, he used to have a purpose, a sense of belonging that came with his 'mate' and home. Well that was before his power went on the fritz and decided not to tell him anything.

He had been hunting alone, Charlotte having decided against coming with him, when his mind felt like it hit a mental brick wall. He had no idea what it was at the time, he still didn't really; all he knew was that at that moment his 'gift' stopped working. He had paid it no mind, choosing to run it off as a thing of his imagination, and finished his hunt. He was a few hours early, but decided against finding something else to do and headed home instead.

'_And what a fuckin' choice that had been.' _He thought in bitter amusement as he turned down another random road, not caring in the least where he was going. '_Was for the best though.'_

He had arrived home to find his bitch of an ex sitting across from that evil midget cunt Maria, in the process of informing her of his and the Major's movements during the past month. He hadn't interrupted her; no he was smarter than that. He had stayed silent and listened to every little detail that spilled from their mouths. From Charlotte's information to Maria's sung praises, he stayed quiet and listened until he couldn't take anymore.

He had been extra thankful for being scentless at that moment, it made dousing the outside of the house in gas that much easier. He could remember their screams of pain as the house lit up like the sun, sure they had managed to get away alive but they were scared hideously for the rest of time.

He couldn't find it in himself to pity the blond who posed as his mate, because he could find a grater betrayal than that.

It wasn't until a good week later that he realized his gift wasn't working, and that had just been icing on the proverbial fucking cake. He didn't get titbits of useless information anymore, no warnings when some stupid fucker decided to pick a fight, no points in the right direction and no more updates on what the Major's new number would be. He was alone, and he never did realize how heavily he relied on that information until it ceased.

That had been almost 2 years ago.

And he still hadn't found anything to do, nothing to set him back on track, nothing to give him a path to follow.

'_Fuck it'_ he thought making another abrupt turn and heading down another almost hidden road.

Little did he know the catalyst he was looking for was currently keeping her fellow motel occupants awake with her muffled screams of desperation and pain.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! No flames or just telling me everything you think is wrong with this fic, its fan fiction-get over it.**

**Hime-sama**


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